1. “Time heals all wounds.”
What??? There is no context in which this is even remotely true or logical. Time doesn’t heal all wounds – not even in the most basic, literal sense. Examples include everything from chipped teeth to severed limbs to the fact that you weren’t popular in high school. The latter debunks the figurative meaning of this cliché, which is that time also heals psychological and emotional wounds (i.e., “What’s that Bill, your wife and kids left you? Well, uh, time heals all wounds! So, good luck with that!”). You don’t need me to tell you that this is just outrageously dumb.
Revised cliché:“Time heals some wounds, like paper cuts and most low-grade rashes, but fails to address many others, forcing you to bury them deep down inside where they fester on your soul like mold on a damp sock.”
2. “The apple doesn’t fall far…
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